The beginning of a light at the end of the tunnel

Is what I see... I am able to see a light especially now that I have created my final schedule for college. Next semester is my last and I am ecstatic!!! It has been a tough long road but I can taste the end. I am so thankful to my husband and girls for helping me get through this.

I am back to this

I just feel like I need to come back to blogging but I don't feel the family blog is appropriate for my journalist needs right now. I just am thankful for so much and sometimes a bit frustrated with life and need to vent. Today I sit in the hospital with my oldest daughter whose trial is epilepsy. We are going through some testing with her to determine what the next step in her treatment is. She is so strong and such an amazing girl. Last night was the first time she has ever complained after being her for 4 days confined to a hospital room attached to many probes and an IV in her arm. She is an example of strength to me. With this trial comes a bit of a social retardation and because of that does not have a lot of friends. She is bullied at school and church and that makes me extremely sad. My hope for her is someday to find good friends and success in all that she does. When we go to the park I find myself praying that people will play with her and that she will have fun. My sweet Camrynn has the temper of my dad and the opinion of her fathers. She is very stubborn like her father and they are constantly butting heads and egging eachother on. She is my gray hair producer. She is fun and out going and likes to talk. She is the boss and she wants the world to know it. Camrynn has felt so unloved this week as most of our attention is focused on her sister. We did bring her to the hospital the second day and made her sit in the room with us from 9am till close to 9pm and let her experience how fun this was. I hope to spend some quality time with her tomorrow or when we get back to St. George. Life is good I should not complain.

A miracle of Forgiveness

Yesterday in church the topic was Repentance. It was a great sunday full of good thoughts and special witnesses of the power of the Atonement.
In the combined Priesthood and Relief Society I have never felt such power and strength coming from someone who knows so much about the miracle of forgiveness. It helped me remember that I can to be forgiven for all that I do.
“Forgiveness is freeing up and putting to better use the energy once consumed by holding grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing unhealed wounds. It is rediscovering the strengths we always had and relocating our limitless capacity to understand and accept other people and ourselves.” James E. Faust

I am thankful for the rain

I love the rain. I love the days that it rains in the desert. I should move to Seattle because I love it so much. I also love yellow roses with red tips. My mom and dad have me buy flowers for my grandma on her birthday from them and I always get my favorite. I love hotair balloons in the winter here in Southern Utah.

Alot of soul searching

The analogy is of a soul—a human soul, with all of its splendor—being placed in a beautifully carved but very tightly locked box. Reigning in majesty and illuminating our soul in this innermost box is our Lord and our Redeemer, Jesus Christ, the living Son of the living God. This box is then placed—and locked—inside another, larger one, and so on until five beautifully carved but very securely locked boxes await the woman who is skillful and wise enough to open them. In order for her to have free communication with the Lord, she must find the key to and unlock the contents of these boxes. Success will then reveal to her the beauty and divinity of her own soul and her gifts and her grace as a daughter of God.

For me, prayer is the key to the first box. We kneel to ask help for our tasks and then arise to find that the first lock is now open. But this ought not to seem just a convenient and contrived miracle, for if we are to search for real light and eternal certainties, we have to pray as the ancients prayed. We are women now, not children, and we are expected to pray with maturity. The words most often used to describe urgent, prayerful labor are wrestle, plead, cry, and hunger. In some sense, prayer may be the hardest work we ever will engage in, and perhaps it should be. It is pivotal protection against becoming so involved with worldly possessions and honors and status that we no longer desire to undertake the search for our soul.

Patricia T. Holland

Thank you to a person who has committed their time and energy to help others get by. To give the people a chance to heal and give wisdom and let the people vent and cry and not judge them as they do so. Thank you for making room when their time is packed with others. Thank you, you know who you are.... And yes you are good, I wish there was more like you to help those like me.

Hymn 130

Be thou Humble in they weakness
and the Lord thy God shall lead thee
Shall lead thee by the hand
and give thee answer to thy prayers
Be thou humble inthy pleading
and the Lord thy God shall bless thee
Shall bless thee with a sweet and calm
assurance that he cares.

Be thou humble in thy calling
and the Lord thy God shall touch thee
To serve his children gladly
with a pure and gentle love
Be thou humble in thy longing
and the Lord thy God shall take thee
Shall take thee home at last to
ever dwell with him above.